If you’ve just started uni in a new place, it can be hard to know where to start making new friends. But remember – everyone else is going through the same thing, even if it doesn’t seem that way! University is a great chance to meet people from all over the world, and building supportive friendships will help you weather life’s storms.
Meet new people
Check out what clubs and societies your university has to offer. Most universities have lots of options – Freshers’ week is a great opportunity to dip in and out of groups and see what you’re interested in. Look on your university’s website for a full list!
It can be hard to go to a club or society for the first time, especially if you don’t have anyone to go with, but the start of a new academic year is a great time to challenge yourself – try setting yourself achievable targets, like trying a new club every week this month until you find one you enjoy. Remember – you don’t have to get it right first time. It’s ok to try things out and decide they’re not for you, and even if it takes you all year to find a society you like, it doesn’t mean you can’t fit right in!
Societies aren’t the only way to meet new people. Tutorials, group work and before and after lectures are all great opportunities to open up conversations with people on your course – you might start off discussing the lecture, but as you get to know people you can build more organic friendships.
And you don’t have to limit your friendships to the university. Get out and about in town – find out if there are any events or social clubs in the city that you’re interested in. If you’re religious, your faith community can also be a great way to meet people. So can volunteering, getting involved in community events and organising, and so on.
Fish out of water
Everyone comes to university from a different place, with different experiences. It can feel like you don’t have much in common with the people around you, whether it’s because of your age, race or culture, class, financial or family situation, disabilities, things you’ve been through, or something else.
You won’t be the only person at your university from a similar background – look for opportunities to meet others through clubs, societies, and online groups. Your university may have designated activities and support for some special interest groups (eg for care-experienced students, mature students, etc).
It can be a really positive experience to build relationships with people who’ve had very different upbringings – as long as neither of you are being made to feel less-than for having certain experiences. If you feel like you’re being bullied or made to feel embarrassed or guilty about your background, you don’t have to tolerate that – there will be people who treat you with respect, and you deserve to find them.
How do I talk to people?
Just say hello! Not everyone you talk to will become a best friend, but everyone’s in the same situation, and most people will appreciate you reaching out.
One of the great things about meeting people through classes, sports, or societies is that you already know you have at least one thing in common! Don’t be afraid to ask other students questions, whether it’s ‘do you understand what this tutor’s talking about?’ or ‘what are you watching lately?’
Putting yourself out there is often easier once you’ve got one or two friends to go places with. If you’re living in halls or with other students, reach out to your housemates and see whether they’d like to go with you to something you’re interested in – whether it’s a clubnight, a society meeting, or a book club.
Beating loneliness
So it’s the end of your first term and you don’t have any best friends? Don’t panic. These things take time, and you can’t rush them. Especially if you struggle with social anxieties or poor self-worth, it can feel like everybody else has already made firm friendships and you’re still alone – that’s not true! It takes everyone some time and some false starts to build friendships, and there’s no deadline on it.
Sometimes in your student life, especially if you’re feeling very stressed, it might be hard to make time for your social life. But having that social support network around you can help you a lot. As much as possible, try to balance coursework with socialising. You’re here to learn – but you’re also here to meet people. Don’t let yourself get so buried in your work that you lose your connections with other people.
Read more advice from Student Minds on how to handle friendships and social life as a student.
