Niki’s story

We asked Nikoletta Zarda in our Business Support team how she looks after her own and other people’s mental health at work. 

I actually came to work at Health in Mind as part of managing my own mental health. I spent a long time working in hospitality, where my mental health really wasn’t valued, and so I have first-hand experience of how important it is to work somewhere where your mental health is being supported, not broken down. 

We often try to shrug off things that are affecting our wellbeing at work, but especially because we spend so much of our time there, it can do so much lasting damage. I have been through some fairly severe experiences in the past, and so I used to think I was very tough and could handle anything, but in my last job I got to the point that my hands were shaking and I was crying on the bathroom floor, because every single day people were telling me I wasn’t good enough and couldn’t do anything right. 

I realised I should do something about it, so I reached out to a mental health nurse for help, and I also started studying to move into administration; but even then, I really struggled to feel confident enough to apply for other jobs. The work environment I was in at the time was so abusive in terms of mental health that it had got in my head and convinced me I wasn’t good enough to change careers. It’s very easy for a bad workplace experience to break your confidence down, and it takes feeling safe and supported, and really working on yourself to build it back up – I’m still working through it even after years. 

Even when you know you’re past breaking point, sometimes you need someone to give you a bit of a push to get out. For me, my sister was the one supporting me, and she coached me through applying to Health in Mind. It’s been so much better being here.  

Of course no workplace is perfect, but here things are so much more supportive, I can relax around my colleagues, and I’m not getting shouted at and being belittled all day. It makes a big difference that I trust my manager, and I feel able to speak up if I’m struggling. 

As Business Support, I’m the first point of contact for Health in Mind, and that was a steep learning curve. From my past experience, I had plenty of experience dealing with people who are angry or even abusive, but that doesn’t necessarily prepare you for the distress and pain a lot of people are contacting us with – people are often really struggling, and they might have been waiting a long time for help by the time they call us. I knew how to handle someone yelling at me, but what do you do when someone’s collapsing over the phone and saying, ‘I can’t do this any more?’ 

The SMHFA (Scottish Mental Health First Aid) course was really helpful for that. It was a bit of a time commitment – it’s two full days of training – but it’s been so helpful in terms of the skills I use every day. It was really interesting and accessible, and it’s a good way for anyone who’s in these kinds of front-of-house roles to know what to do to help when someone’s having a hard time. 

I think the most valuable thing I learned from SMHFA was when someone’s struggling, don’t shy away from talking about it. Because people are uncomfortable – we’re often scared of saying the wrong thing or making things worse – we tend to avoid mentioning it. Asking about someone’s mental health or wellbeing isn’t going to tip them over the edge. A lot of people I speak to at work, who are having a really hard time, they just need to be heard. Even just listening and saying ‘mhm, mhm’ while they tell me what’s going on can help a lot, even before I start suggesting options for support. 

We don’t talk about mental health as a society, so we don’t know any better. We talk to hundreds of people a day, but very rarely about the important things. Of course, because I work in a mental health service, I had a very steep learning curve on this, but I think we all have a responsibility to respond, and respond supportively, to people in distress. It’s very important to develop that understanding on how to approach people. 

The other thing I’ve learned over the years is how important it is to support your colleagues as well. If I’m having a hard day, whether it’s these difficult conversations on the phone where people are going through something terrible, someone being aggressive or abusive towards me, or any of the other day-to-day stresses of Business Support, I know my team are there for me. We’re able to take the time to talk to each other and unpack what’s happened, and that helps give me the resilience to go back in and give my best. 

My manager always has time for me, and even if what’s happened is pretty minor, not a big crisis, she’ll check in with me. She’s great at making sure that I have the space to go out and clear my head when I need to, so I don’t have to jump from a distressing encounter right into the next thing. 

We have really good support systems across Health in Mind, which is good because the work we do is so important. How would we support others if we couldn’t look after ourselves? It’s like on aeroplanes – you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. A lot of it is about valuing the people you work with and caring about their wellbeing. It can be challenging at times, but nobody expects you to break yourself over your job.  

Sometimes I ask myself if I would ever go somewhere where I got paid loads more but there was less support, and I always have to ask – is money worth more than my mental health? No way – my mental health still comes first, after all this time.