In the winter, as you coorie in away from the dark outside, it’s easy to slip into isolation.
When it’s cold and dark outside, we often spend more time indoors. It can be unpleasant, daunting or even dangerous to go out, depending on the weather – not to mention expensive. If your energy levels are low in the winter, you may not feel like going out or talking to people.
Shutting the world out and snuggling up alone on the sofa can be a restful break once in a while. But over time, alone time can turn into loneliness, especially for older people or people whose health makes it harder to get out anyway. We need other people to keep ourselves well.
Prioritise social connection
When we’re already feeling exhausted or low, it can be tempting to cut ourselves off further, feeling as if we don’t have the ‘social battery’ to spend time around others. But if you haven’t seen another person in days, it can really negatively affect your mental health. You don’t have to go to everything, but you do need to see people.
If you have plans or a friend’s invited you out and your first instinct is to go ‘ugh, I don’t want to,’ take a moment. Ask yourself whether you actually don’t want to do the activity, or whether it just feels difficult to leave the house. Will you feel better once you’re there? If you think the answer’s yes, push yourself to go if you can – you can always give yourself permission to leave after an hour or so if it feels like too much.
Remember, social contact is a basic need. If you’ve got limited time and energy that you need to prioritise with care, making the time to see people should be right up there with things like food and sleep.
Get out of the house
One reason we often find ourselves lonely in the winter is because we spend much less time out and about. Even if you don’t go out especially to see people, sometimes just passing people in the street or saying hello to the bus driver can give us a moment of human contact. If you’re in your house all day, every day, you’ll miss out on even that.
Getting outside can be a great way to cope with the shortage of sunlight in the winter – but it can be hard to motivate yourself. Seeing friends can be a great way to kill two birds with one stone. Invite a friend or loved one for a walk, a bike ride, or, if you’re feeling really adventurous, winter swimming (brrrr!). Even just walking to the shops together can give you both a burst of much-needed daylight and a bit of time to chat.
Socialise inside
You don’t have to brave the wind and the weather for long to see friends. If you can get over to their house, or they can come to you, you can both get your ‘flopped on the sofa’ time in together. Socialising doesn’t have to be super active or involved – if all you end up doing is having a cuppa and watching TV together, you’re still getting some social interaction.
If the weather’s terrible, and you’re less mobile, you might not be able to leave the house – but it doesn’t mean you have to spend the winter alone. If you have friends or family who are more able to travel, why not invite them over for coffee or dinner?
Make plans – and keep them
Classes, clubs and workshops are a great way to schedule a bit of social time into your week. If you’re not able to get out and about for them, many organisations and community groups now run meetings online, through video chat.
But you don’t have to be doing a formal class to schedule in social time. If you’re struggling to make time with your friends or loved ones, you could schedule in a regular video call, or agree between you to carve out a day every month where you’ll do something together.
Find inexpensive ways to spend time together
Isolation is a particular risk at this time of year if you’re dealing with financial strain. Compared to the summer, when there’s long sunny days to spend outside, most of your socialising in the winter will tend to be indoors – and that can mean spending a lot of money.
Check out our guide to keeping connected in times of financial stress.